If Chris and Pat go out for coffee, are they ready to get married?

Of course not.

If Jane signs up for your email newsletter, is she ready to donate $500 a month?

Of course not.

Relationships build slowly. There are many steps between initial and advanced levels of engagement.

I’m thinking about this because I’ve recently received emails from a good-sized NYC nonprofit (GSNYCN) asking me to remember it in my will.

screenshot of an email that offers "helpful articles" about making a donation in your will

Any fundraiser will tell you that “legacy donations” are pure gold. But you have to be careful about whom you ask and when. People are uncomfortable talking about death – especially their own. The only people you can ask to put your organization in their will are the ones who are already highly committed.

My level of engagement with GSNYCN? I did a small job for the development folks a decade ago. Maybe I signed up at the time for the e-letter. I’ve never donated a penny.

And now GSNYCN wants me to give it my money when I die.

You wouldn’t do anything so egregious, I’m sure. But we all need to guard against asking people for more than they’re ready to give. Engagement comes in tiny steps.

  • If people sign up for your newsletter, thank them. Your newsletter can ask for a donation or purchase.
  • If people make a donation, thank them. Later you can ask for another donation in a slightly larger amount.
  • If people have donated more than once, thank them. Then you can ask if they want to be monthly supporters.
  • If people come to your event or volunteer, thank them. Ask them to sign up for your newsletter. Later you can invite them to another event or volunteer opportunity.
  • If people buy your product or service, thank them. Ask them to sign up for your newsletter. Later, you can pitch them a related product or service.
  • If people “like” you on social media, thank them by liking back

See the two vital relationship-building steps?

  1. Whenever people do anything for you, thank them! It’s a great relationship-building step.
  2. Stay in touch with your email newsletter. The newsletter can offer all kinds of engagement opportunities: donate, volunteer, attend, advocate, whatever fits your mission. I can show you how.

Just take it slow. There are many, many steps from first date to lifetime commitment.